23/02/25

The Importance of ASMR

If you’ve been online within the past decade (or more), you may have encountered the term ASMR. ASMR stands for Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response, a goosebump or tingling sensation on the back of your head, neck and shoulders. Based on that description, it may sound odd that people would seek it out, but that feeling can be triggered by occurrences such as getting a haircut/wash, somebody whispering, having your hair brushed, getting a message, or writing on paper, turning the pages as you go. Particular voices, such as low tones, calm soft voices (like Bob Ross or Mr Rogers), or people who make mouth sounds when they speak can be calming and trigger this effect.

Before the phenomenon took the internet by storm, I was a student in my teens struggling to sleep. Falling asleep, and staying asleep has always been an issue for me (it’s currently 4am as I type this), and whilst most of the country's population was tucked up in bed, thoughts crushed my mind like an anvil. Due to the time, I couldn’t reach out to anyone or walk it off. Thoughts flooded through, too awake to sleep them off, too tired to move out of bed. Therapists had suggested meditation, so I turned to YouTube, hoping to find music I could play to centre my mind when thoughts wandered. The autoplay that night sent me to Lauren Ostrowski Fenton. Something about her voice, maybe the accent, immediately brought me into focus. Some words were softer and slower, others closer to the microphone or away in the distance. Words spoken directly to me, guiding me through progressive muscle relaxation techniques I’d learned in therapy. It was as though someone I trusted, a dear friend (not in a parasocial way) was gently reminding me of my progress. Despite everything, those thoughts are not helpful and I am worthy of being here. I’d never heard/watched a video of a single voice without background music using a binaural setup before. The audio made it feel as though someone was in the room with me when I needed them the most. Fentons introduction was very similar to a children's television show I watched growing up, where the character at storytime would say, "Are you sitting comfortably? Yes! Good, Then I'll begin."
At the time, I was a very lonely and mentally unwell person, who would isolate to cope, and this video guided me slowly and calmly, into sleep. I didn’t feel guilt, shame or as though I was burdening her. Lauren had made this video to help others relax, fall asleep and feel less alone, and that was comforting.

In turn, another creator, Jason Stephenson was recommended alongside Lauren Fentons videos. Another Australian, something about that accent (you’ll notice a theme soon), maybe due to Laurens calm presence, made me feel safe. His videos were paired with music, and left time at the end of the meditation, assuming you were asleep, to drift off to the sounds.
Thankfully I can say I don't suffer from panic attacks like I did years ago. Fullbody shivers, unable to move, shortness of breath, feeling hot sweat drip down your back like a faucet, dizziness, shakiness, losing focus, head like a lead balloon. A terrible voice in your head makes you act on impulse, affirming every negative thought as the god's-honest truth. Festering impulses get the go-ahead from the awful critic who preys on your downfall. Thank goodness that's over. In that strange part of the night where you question every decision ever made, where time and reality bleed together into a nonsensical haze, I found comfort and solace in Lauren and Jason. Eventually both creators' videos began to have another word in the title, ASMR. Due to their videos adding this word, the YouTube homepage began showing me similar media. My nightly ritual of panic, realising my mental and physical state, and selecting a video I knew would put my mind and body at ease began. It switched out the negative coping mechanism (not always) of acting on impulse to hurt myself and instead a new voice in my head emerged saying, “let’s try a video first. Even if it’s just for 10 minutes.” At the time, that was a massive step forward.

There were no jumpscares, loud voices, sudden noises (other than a meditation bell), bright flashing lights or colors. ASMR creators have never thrown a sudden curveball, you trust that their videos will be soft and calm. I had difficulty trusting others, but I knew they wouldn’t include anything harmful or frightening as it would go against the genre. During my isolation, it was these moments of real people creating something for the purpose of relaxation that grounded me. Meditation tapes slipped into videos where people would roleplay relaxing real-world experiences. As a person diagnosed with GAD and depression, I found that watching these roleplays eased me into the idea of something daunting like a doctor's visit, talking to a shopkeeper, going to the hairdresser, checking out a book at the library, checking in at a hotel, going outside (I was a shut-in for a year), or studying. Many of these videos were centred around personal attention, showcasing sound triggers (often themed), and relaxing hand movements, which, when angled correctly on camera, gave the impression of someone being close to you. I would often flinch when someone raised their hand to me, but these smooth motions of brushing near the lens or fluttering hands normalised the idea of someone occupying my space in a non-threatening way. Roleplaying allowed me to experience new activities such as; going to a spa, Chinese calligraphy, traveling first class on an airplane, visiting a temple in Kyoto, and having someone apply my makeup. Some videos reminded me of positive childhood experiences, like cooking a meal with my mom, or reading a bedtime story. ASMR can be unintentional, such as this gentleman reviewing phones (his humor seeps through which is delightful), this coding tutorial, or a lady decorating a sari.

For this journal entry, I wanted to show some love for ASMR as it's been given a bad rep. Generally the unassuming person believes this auditory stimulation is purely sexual, and for some people it is, with some ASMRists creating content that is catered for that audience. Whispering in someone's ear can be arousing, and those specific creators don't shy away from that. Fair play, each to their own. As stated in the paragraphs above, for myself personally it helped me feel less alone, relaxed and lulled me, whilst exposing me to new activities with a guide that was friendly and calm. Due to the allegations of this phenomenon being perceived as sexual and steeped in fetish, I kept my viewership of ASMR secret, lest anyone think I was perverse for wanting to fall asleep soundly.

Additionally, this entry is to shout-out some ASMRists that have helped me personally. Since mentioning the theme of Australian accents with Lauren and Jason, I have to include one of the greatest ASMR creators of all time, Massage ASMR. His channel was one of the first I watched for ASMR content. The Dr Dmitri videos have been rewatched by myself and millions of others for high-quality relaxation, tingles and sleep. I don’t want to make false promises, but I had the idea of making stickers and banners to add to my website that linked to their channels. Included in this list there will be channels I no longer watch, not because I don’t enjoy them, but to show some of the people who helped me all those years ago. My favourite channels will include the ♪ symbol. Look them up on YouTube!

ASMR PPOMO ♪
Dr. T ASMR
Gentle Whispering ASMR
IceBlue ASMR
Latte ASMR ♪
masayoshi's ASMR Lipstick CHANNEL ♪
Mochiusa ASMR
PUPPYBOY ASMR
TheOneLilium ASMR (her powernap session was my go to in college)
Tingting ASMR
Rea Moon ASMR
Relax for a while
VETL ASMR
斉田 ♪